impact
  • Home
    • About impact >
      • impact in a nutshell >
        • impact's origin story >
          • bio: Kathy Kaplan OAM
        • What else does impact do? >
          • Advocacy & awareness raising
          • Interest-free loans
          • Grants to Refuges
          • Bursaries
          • impactFUL launch party
          • Childcare at Moorabbin Court
      • Our Board >
        • Our vision, mission & values
        • Our policies >
          • Constitution
          • COVID-SAFE measures
          • Acknowledgement of Country
          • Privacy Policy
          • Inclusion Policy
          • Volunteer Policy
          • Child Safety Policy
        • AGM 2022
        • Last year's achievements
        • Board Only Section
    • What is Family Violence?
    • Myth Busting
    • Upcoming events
  • Ways to Help
    • How YOU can help
    • Messages of Hope
    • Donate your dollars
    • Donate your time, effort & skills
    • Bags of Love >
      • Bags of Love - how to help
      • Bags of Love - what to give
    • Trees of Love
    • Court Childcare Project
    • Give them a meal
    • Purses with Purpose
    • Become a sponsor >
      • Sponsor financially
      • Sponsor in kind
  • Get help
    • if your friend needs help
    • Who you can turn to
    • Create a safety plan
    • Tips to help a friend >
      • Helpful things to say, ask or do
      • Things NOT to say, ask or do
    • Tips for youth
    • Tips for male victims
    • Tips for LGBTIQ victims
    • Tips for older people
    • Tips if you witness violence
    • Stay safe online >
      • Conduct an online safety audit
      • Create a strong password
      • Mobile phone safety
      • Computer & internet safety
      • Online banking safety
      • Clear your devices' history
      • Disable tracking devices
  • Get involved
    • Become a Member
    • Volunteer >
      • Coffee Lunch & Craft Group
  • Facts & Stats
    • What is Family Violence?
    • Australia's great shame: the facts >
      • Australia's death toll: 2022
      • Australia's death toll: 2021
      • Australia's death toll: 2020
      • Australia's death toll: 2019
      • Australia's death toll: 2018
    • Cycle of Abuse
    • Warning signs
    • Gaslighting
    • Royal Commission into Family Violence
    • National Community Attitudes Survey
  • Articles, Blogs & Personal Stories
    • News Articles & Blogs
    • Personal Stories
  • Contact us
  • xmas 2020 video
  • Annual Report 2022
  • W&P video 2022
  • PJV chanukah 2006

Survivor Story: I Grew Up Witnessing Domestic Violence

11/5/2019

11 Comments

 
Night after night I feared for my mother’s life as well as mine, and I grew to resent my father, who tried to cure his issues with alcohol. Being so little while this was happening, I felt helpless and looked for protection from my mother, which she couldn’t give me.


​Read the full story here
Picture
11 Comments

Survivor Story: My Abuser Repeatedly Strangled Me

11/5/2019

12 Comments

 
I was pregnant with our son when the verbal and emotional abuse became physical. While he hurt me everyday, we did have good times as well – unless I said or did the 'wrong' thing or tried to talk to my family.


Click here to read the full story
Picture
12 Comments

Personal story

5/5/2019

16 Comments

 
My insides were screaming at me to leave him, but because I was so filled with shame, I didn’t want to be judged for telling the truth.


​Read the full story here

Picture
16 Comments

A hole in the wall will lead to a hole on your body.

4/5/2019

25 Comments

 
Picture
Tamara Henry, 25, is a survivor of domestic violence. Seven weeks after her wedding, Tamara nearly died by his hands on their marital bed. 

​Read the full story here.

25 Comments

My Father Abused My Mother and Me Until I Was 13

3/5/2019

15 Comments

 
Picture
Mum and I left when I was 12. When I was 13, she wanted to try again with dad. I was then old enough to tell her not to, but she didn’t listen. He did the same thing as always, and we finally were set free from him when I was 13 years old.


​Read the full story here.

15 Comments

My Husband Spent Our Wedding Day On Tinder - And I Stayed

2/5/2019

22 Comments

 
Picture
​I fell in love at first sight. Probably not surprising, to be honest. He’s incredibly charismatic, incredibly handsome, and made me feel like the princess I never knew I wanted to be.
We married. God, what a day. Jokes from the priest, tears from the groom, and oh but how I loved him.
And then The Pizza Incident happened. Two and a half months after we married I was begging him to leave the apartment. To leave me alone. To never, ever, ever speak to me again.


​Read the full story here.
22 Comments

Life and Love After Domestic Violence

30/4/2019

8 Comments

 
Picture
I started dating my current husband several months after my ex-husband/abuser left. I was in the middle of the divorce and raising my children as a single mother. Dating was the last thing on my mind. In fact, I had basically sworn off men and built a wall around my heart. I would never let another man hurt me again. 


​Read the full story here
8 Comments

I don’t know why I stayed

27/4/2019

8 Comments

 
Picture
I was with the man who abused me for over 10 years. He abused me emotionally and physically.
He was a cool guy. I fell in love with him because he was fun and spontaneous. He used to proud of me for who I am. I can’t exactly remember when he changed but one day, he became very controlling.
I remember the first time he hit me. I don’t remember what I did. It was such a small thing and I was devastated. I couldn’t even tell my friends about it. I was so ashamed of what happened. He said he did it because I was being a bitch. He said it was my fault. Within 24 hours he apologized to me. He said he was very sorry and never wanted to hurt me again. I didn’t want to forgive him. But I felt sorry for him...
His father was abusive. He grew up watching his dad beating his mom. He had told me he didn’t want to become his father and deep down I knew I wanted to help. I don’t know what I was thinking but I thought I could help him so I forgave him…
And then it happened again and again and again. Each time he made me believe it was my fault and deep down I still felt like I could help him. Again and again and again, I forgave him...
He used to love me getting attention. I was his trophy girlfriend. But that turned into jealousy. He forced me to dress differently. He started asking me a lot of questions of who I talk to or hung out with. He never trusted me. Once I met up with my old friend (who’s gay) and had lunch with him. When he found out, he pulled my hair and dragged me to the living room and hit me again. He didn’t care what I had to say. And if I was too tired to have sex, he always said “it’s because you are cheating”
Once he tried to kill me. He went to kitchen and got a knife and he put the knife to my throat. He said he would kill me if I leave him. I was very scared. I should have called the police. But I thought he would still kill me if I call 911.
I’m a happy person in general. I laugh a lot. He started getting annoyed of me laughing or being excited. He didn’t want me to be happy. And I stopped being myself in front of him. I thought it was a small sacrifice to make for the sake of our relationship.
He also told me many times that I don’t deserve anyone else. Nobody would love me but him and he was so persistent in his abuse that I believed him. At this point, I lost many friends because anytime I talked to them he said I was cheating. Even if I talked to my girlfriends, he was accusing me for being a lesbian and cheating on him with them. He isolated me from everyone else, likely to control me for himself.
After years of abuse I finally left and I wanted to get divorce and be done with everything . But after years of abuse, my self-confidence was at an all-time low and he convinced me not to go through with the divorce even if I was done with him.
And the things got really bad to worse after that. He was so angry all the time. I felt like there was no way to communicate with him even if I wanted to have a civil relationship with him for the sake of our child. He was constantly complaining about everything about me and called me names. At this point I was like a zombie. I had no feelings and even if I seemed happy on the outside, deep down I wasn’t.
Right before last thanksgivings, we had a small argument. It was such a dumb thing but he didn’t like what I said or did. And we didn’t talk at all until shortly before xmas. Right before xmas, he literally slapped me for no reason. He walked by me and slapped me. And when I asked him why, he tried to throw a glass jar at me. To make me more upset, didn’t even get a xmas gift for our child.
I didn’t deserve any of this abuse. I don’t know why I let it happened for years. He completely destroyed my sense of who I was.
After being separated for almost 3 years, I finally open my heart to someone else and this man made me realize that I didn’t deserve all the abuse and that I deserved better. Through this relationship and me regaining my own self-worth, I decided it was time to get a divorce and tell my ex that I wanted to end this relationship for good.
As expected, my ex made it very difficult on me. He would stalk me, call me endlessly, abuse me, confront me and threaten to commit suicide if we did not get back together. It was very difficult and there were many times where I cried and lost sleep and wanted to give up but through the support of my friends, family and my new partner, I pushed forward with the divorce.
This was not before one final incident, he had asked if we could speak and I foolishly let him into my home. We had talked then things quickly escalated and I am not sure the sequence of events but out of nowhere, he grabbed me from behind and I feared for my life. The whole situation is a blur to me now but somehow, I was able to escape and call the police. When the police had asked me if I wanted to press charges I paused and hesitated because in the past, i would not have gone this far but knowing now that I deserve better and what he was doing was not right - I decided to take legal actions
This past Monday, we went to child protection services due to the incident. I was given a sheet that listed out the signs of abuse - there must have been 15 or so signs of abuse and it really hit me when I checked all but 2 signs of abuse. It hit me hard and was the final nail in the coffin that I can’t sweep these problems under the rug any more and that I needed to share my story with others.
Did I waste my life with him? No. Because of what I went through I’m no longer blind. It was very painful but I’m a better and stronger person now. I wish him nothing but the best. I hope he never treat another woman this way. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through
I wanted to share this story not only as my own self-medication but also to help those who are suffering any form of abuse to recognize the signs and do something about it. I am confident independent woman who believes that she can do almost anything but even with all this confidence, I let myself be abused and forgive a man that never deserved my love.
If you are going through abuse, please do something about it and seek help. I promise you are not alone.

Kaito Nolan
March 22, 2018


If you are in danger, please call 000
If you need support, please ring 1800RESPECT
For other support agencies, please visit here.

8 Comments

I didn't want to lose him so I lost myself in the process

25/4/2019

17 Comments

 
Because I didn't want to lose him, I lost yourself in the process.
I became that person who kept being mistreated and formed a habit of saying "I'm used to it".
I became that person who kept being unappreciated and began to tell myself "It's okay".
I became that person who kept being undervalued and learned how to say "I'm fine".
I became that person who kept being put last and naturally reacted with "Whatever...".
I became that person who kept being taken for granted and dealt with it by repeating "Everything's okay".
I became that person who kept being unhappy and kept telling people "I'll be fine".
No one is worth losing yourself for.
No one is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness.
No one is worth tormenting yourself over for the sake of making them happy.
Perhaps losing that person is the only way you'll be able to get yourself back.
Perhaps, as much as you don't want this to be true,
that person is the only thing standing in your way of finding yourself .
That person is the only reason you lost yourself in the first place.


​adapted from a piece found written anonymously

Picture
17 Comments

I wanted a fairy tale wedding, instead I got this...

19/4/2019

18 Comments

 
Picture
18 Comments
<<Previous

    Archives

    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018

EVERY DOLLAR MAKES A DIFFERENCE
Picture


impact acknowledges the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander People as the First Peoples of Australia, the traditional owners of the lands and waters throughout Australia: lands and waters which have never been ceded.
​We recognise their continuing connection to land, waters and community and we pay our respects to their peoples, their cultures, their languages and to their elders past, present and emerging.

​
View impact's Privacy Policy here

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture


​impact is very proud to call the following organisations our key partners:
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
ABN: 17 159 728 753
PO BOX 217 GLEN HUNTLY 3163

Copyright © 2022