Why are we more outraged when a woman is killed by a shark or by a stranger rather than by someone who once said, 'I love you' to her?

This image has been doing the rounds for a little while now. All deaths, whether by sharks, car, workplace accident or natural causes are sad but deaths at the hands of another are particularly tragic. But when that death is domestic homicide we need to start looking at ourselves even more closely as family, friends and society.

Domestic homicide never comes from nowhere. is almost always the result of toxic masculinity*: a character trait that is fearful and usually evident long before it results in murder.

The signs may be subtle but they are there and before you ask, 'So why doesn't she leave?', the 'victim' may be paralysed from doing anything OR may have reported her fears to deaf ears.

We, and I mean we, ALL OF US, family, friends and society have to step up in how we care for each other. When we see those traits we have to say or do something. It's up to each one of us to call out those behaviours and traits when we see or hear them.



* Not all perpetrators are men - not all men are violent. How sad that I always feel I have to put that disclaimer out there.

impact keeps a record, to our best ability, of ALL violent deaths in Australia regardless of the perpetrator or victims gender. Visit here to learn more.

​Kathy Kaplan OAM