'Anne' separated from her husband after a decade of physical and emotional abuse, only to find a lack of protections for victims of domestic violence allowed her ex-partner to continue to threaten, harass and abuse her from afar.
The Canberra public servant said the abuse by her former husband began in 2003, shortly after the birth of one of their children.
It continued for 10 years, resulting in physical and emotional scars, debts of up to $30,000 and Anne almost losing her job when photoshopped images of her appeared on two different sex websites.
"It wasn't an overnight change, it was so gradual, but after a while it just got extremely violent," she said.
"I actually labelled him 'The Teflon Man' because nothing would stick to him.
"He has never shown one ounce of ownership of his behaviour through the courts or otherwise."
Anne said the abuse got so violent she almost died from having an asthma attack while being choked.
"He tried to run me over with a car. He spiked my drink and had me [sexually] assaulted by a third party," she said.
"[I was] stalked, both by himself online and a friend in contravention of a DVO."
The couple divorced in 2012, but Anne said her former husband continued to remotely "wreak havoc" in her life in the form of online abuse.
"He actually said [online] I had participated in acts of bestiality," she said.
"But what was really troubling was he had found out our address.
"He was quite capable of giving that address out to just about anyone and have them turn up to the house with the children in the house, because I had full custody."
Anne said she twice came close to losing her job after graphic content on two websites, including a photoshopped portrait of her, came to the attention of her employer.
"I went to the police station [and] they said you are not the victim, the websites are," she said.
'I can't let him live in my head'Anne sought assistance from Victims of Crime Commissioner John Hinchey, who asked ACT police to review the matter.
"They came back with the view that her ex-partner had committed offences and could be charged, [bu] it took a while," Mr Hinchey said.
By the time police issued a warrant and attempted to locate Anne's ex-husband, he had disappeared interstate.
Mr Hinchey said it was difficult to bring him back to the ACT because domestic violence protection orders were not recognised in different jurisdictions.
Anne said if police had dealt with the situation at the first opportunity her ex-partner could possibly be in jail, rather than continuing to cause havoc in her life.
"We haven't had contact and I am still getting phone calls and emails from debt collectors about him, because he is still giving them my details," she said.
Anne believes her former husband is somewhere in New South Wales where he began claiming welfare payments from Centrelink in 2015.
But she said while he had a superannuation scheme, he still owed her $11,000 in child support payments, that she was likely to never receive.
Anne said she still did not feel any safer, though, in raising her children and grandchildren, she was determined to break the cycle of domestic violence in her family.
"I still have post-traumatic stress, I still have anxiety, but I don't let it define me," she said.
"I can't let him live in my head, I can't let him control where I go, what I see, what I do anymore."
DVOs to be enforceable interstate from next week
While it came too late for Anne, frontline services and victim advocates said there had been a great deal of progress in recent years to improve outcomes for other Canberrans experiencing domestic violence.
Revenge porn is now a crime in the ACT, as is drink and food spiking.
ACT Policing also has a specialised Family Violence Coordination Unit and the National Domestic Violence Order Scheme will come into force later this month — giving victims automatic protection across all jurisdictions.
"There is a growing intolerance to accepting that someone can move from one jurisdiction to another and escape the consequences of their behaviour," Mr Hinchey said.
"It will be simpler for [victims] because they will only need to do something once and then there is an obligation on other jurisdictions to ensure that any breach of that order is applied to that person.
"Hopefully it will remove the attraction to move interstate."
Mirjana Wilson from the Domestic Violence Crisis Service (DVCS) said the new scheme should increase access to justice for victims, but the implementation of any new law still had to be tested.
"That requires significant resources, in terms of training police [and] the courts," she said.
And she said a much greater focus was needed to prevent domestic violence in the first place, including compulsory primary school education about respectful relationships.
"If we are going to introduce laws that are going to [have an] impact, then there is a responsibility to ensure that our children and young people are resourced on how to deal with that," Ms Wilson said.
"We may not be able to rely on families to provide that alone."
Domestic violence a 'concern for everyone'The milestones in achievement for victims of domestic violence are being highlighted as part of 16 Days of Activism — a worldwide campaign to eliminate violence against women and girls — beginning on November 25.
The campaign hopes to make the eradication of domestic violence everyone's concern under their theme "Leave No One Behind".
"We need to get to a place in our community where the idea of this happening in families is completely and totally unacceptable," Ms Wilson said.
"In the same way that it has become unacceptable to hop into a car and not put your seat belt on, in the same way that it has become completely unacceptable to litter. In the same way that we have got screening for breast cancer, skin cancer.
"We need to be looking at how we can make family violence one of those things, which we are working towards truly eradicating and eliminating."
This article was written by Adrienne Francis and has been copied from here.
The Canberra public servant said the abuse by her former husband began in 2003, shortly after the birth of one of their children.
It continued for 10 years, resulting in physical and emotional scars, debts of up to $30,000 and Anne almost losing her job when photoshopped images of her appeared on two different sex websites.
"It wasn't an overnight change, it was so gradual, but after a while it just got extremely violent," she said.
"I actually labelled him 'The Teflon Man' because nothing would stick to him.
"He has never shown one ounce of ownership of his behaviour through the courts or otherwise."
Anne said the abuse got so violent she almost died from having an asthma attack while being choked.
"He tried to run me over with a car. He spiked my drink and had me [sexually] assaulted by a third party," she said.
"[I was] stalked, both by himself online and a friend in contravention of a DVO."
The couple divorced in 2012, but Anne said her former husband continued to remotely "wreak havoc" in her life in the form of online abuse.
"He actually said [online] I had participated in acts of bestiality," she said.
"But what was really troubling was he had found out our address.
"He was quite capable of giving that address out to just about anyone and have them turn up to the house with the children in the house, because I had full custody."
Anne said she twice came close to losing her job after graphic content on two websites, including a photoshopped portrait of her, came to the attention of her employer.
"I went to the police station [and] they said you are not the victim, the websites are," she said.
'I can't let him live in my head'Anne sought assistance from Victims of Crime Commissioner John Hinchey, who asked ACT police to review the matter.
"They came back with the view that her ex-partner had committed offences and could be charged, [bu] it took a while," Mr Hinchey said.
By the time police issued a warrant and attempted to locate Anne's ex-husband, he had disappeared interstate.
Mr Hinchey said it was difficult to bring him back to the ACT because domestic violence protection orders were not recognised in different jurisdictions.
Anne said if police had dealt with the situation at the first opportunity her ex-partner could possibly be in jail, rather than continuing to cause havoc in her life.
"We haven't had contact and I am still getting phone calls and emails from debt collectors about him, because he is still giving them my details," she said.
Anne believes her former husband is somewhere in New South Wales where he began claiming welfare payments from Centrelink in 2015.
But she said while he had a superannuation scheme, he still owed her $11,000 in child support payments, that she was likely to never receive.
Anne said she still did not feel any safer, though, in raising her children and grandchildren, she was determined to break the cycle of domestic violence in her family.
"I still have post-traumatic stress, I still have anxiety, but I don't let it define me," she said.
"I can't let him live in my head, I can't let him control where I go, what I see, what I do anymore."
DVOs to be enforceable interstate from next week
While it came too late for Anne, frontline services and victim advocates said there had been a great deal of progress in recent years to improve outcomes for other Canberrans experiencing domestic violence.
Revenge porn is now a crime in the ACT, as is drink and food spiking.
ACT Policing also has a specialised Family Violence Coordination Unit and the National Domestic Violence Order Scheme will come into force later this month — giving victims automatic protection across all jurisdictions.
"There is a growing intolerance to accepting that someone can move from one jurisdiction to another and escape the consequences of their behaviour," Mr Hinchey said.
"It will be simpler for [victims] because they will only need to do something once and then there is an obligation on other jurisdictions to ensure that any breach of that order is applied to that person.
"Hopefully it will remove the attraction to move interstate."
Mirjana Wilson from the Domestic Violence Crisis Service (DVCS) said the new scheme should increase access to justice for victims, but the implementation of any new law still had to be tested.
"That requires significant resources, in terms of training police [and] the courts," she said.
And she said a much greater focus was needed to prevent domestic violence in the first place, including compulsory primary school education about respectful relationships.
"If we are going to introduce laws that are going to [have an] impact, then there is a responsibility to ensure that our children and young people are resourced on how to deal with that," Ms Wilson said.
"We may not be able to rely on families to provide that alone."
Domestic violence a 'concern for everyone'The milestones in achievement for victims of domestic violence are being highlighted as part of 16 Days of Activism — a worldwide campaign to eliminate violence against women and girls — beginning on November 25.
The campaign hopes to make the eradication of domestic violence everyone's concern under their theme "Leave No One Behind".
"We need to get to a place in our community where the idea of this happening in families is completely and totally unacceptable," Ms Wilson said.
"In the same way that it has become unacceptable to hop into a car and not put your seat belt on, in the same way that it has become completely unacceptable to litter. In the same way that we have got screening for breast cancer, skin cancer.
"We need to be looking at how we can make family violence one of those things, which we are working towards truly eradicating and eliminating."
This article was written by Adrienne Francis and has been copied from here.
