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How serious are Shorten and Morrison about Domestic & Family Violence?

18/5/2019

 
Domestic and Family Violence has, until relatively recently, rarely been seen as a public problem. But attitudes are, now, finally changing. The statistics, though, continue to paint an extremely grim picture: DFV results in at least one woman a week and — on average — one child every fortnight and one man each month.
Read Sherele Moody's article
here
​



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​Being loved is wonderful; being love-bombed is a red flag

13/5/2019

 
Love-bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction. Wow, sounds wonderful, doesn't it. I mean, who wouldn't want to be love-bombed? Who doesn't want to be showered with love and affection? Who doesn't want to be adored and desired?

But the truth is that love-bombing isn't about love and affection or about being adored and desired, it's about being secretly manipulated and controlled.

And here’s the problem: because not every romantic is a narcissist or a potential manipulator or a potentially abusive partner, it can be really difficult to recognise that you're being love-bombed rather than loved.

What constitutes love bombing?
Love-bombs are actions such as flattery, compliments, romance or promises of the future designed to gain your love and trust. Once that trust is established, the love-bomber is in a position to manipulate and control you. You are no longer in a mutually respectful relationship, because the love-bomber has power over you.

​Being loved is wonderful; being love-bombed is a red flag - watch out for it.  


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Relationship Counselling is NOT the answer to Domestic Violence

11/5/2019

 
Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse is unlike any other crime because:
1. it does NOT happen in a vacuum
and
2. it does NOT happen because someone is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Our homes and families are supposed to be our sacred territories, havens in an often heartless world. This is part of what makes Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse so untenable, so unacceptable.

Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse is abuse from someone you know, from someone you trust, from someone who claims to love you.

Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse is often hidden from even our closest confidantes and, very often, the physical violence is far less damaging than the emotional and verbal violence.

So why am I so against the proposition that victims and perpetrators of Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse attend Relationship Counselling sessions?

Because:
1. Relationship Counselling won't and can't stop Domestic, Family and Relationship Abuse
2. Relationship Counselling is not a Perpetrator Behaviour Change Program
and
3. Relationship Counselling will make victims feel they have to change their behaviour in order to stop "triggering" their violent partners - and haven't they already been doing that?

Victims of Domestic, Family or Relationship Abuse don't need Relationship Counselling; they need strong safety nets to help them to live lives free from fear. They/We need our governments, regardless of colour or stripes, to respect and heed current research, to listen to the experience of those with lived experience, and to put a LOT more money into frontline services that do both of those things.
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People don’t leave their abusers for many more and very complex reasons than you’d probably think

9/5/2019

 
Most victims of Domestic and Family Abuse try to leave their perpetrators many times. The fact of the matter is, the offender usually doesn't let them go - physically or emotionally - and that is VERY different to choosing to stay.

​Read the full story here.

​
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Pressuring women to stay in their homes will kill them

9/5/2019

 
By encouraging women to stay in the home, our government is exposing them to even higher risks than 'before’. We don’t ask victims of 'coward punches' to hear the other guy’s story. Victims of Domestic and Family Abuse don’t need counselling: they need help to start over and law enforcement policies and personnel who take abuse seriously.

This is an important story - read it here.
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Court ordered ‘child abuse’ must end

7/5/2019

 
A senior domestic violence worker has called for an end to “court ordered” violence against children saying children’s voices must be heard because some children in known family violent families are being failed.


​Read the full article here.
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Our 'nice guy' father murdered our mother and sister yet the media focused on his suicide

7/5/2019

 
The media portrays a dangerous outside world for women and children, full of perilous dark alleyways and malevolent strangers. However, true danger for women and children is at home, at the hands of their husbands and fathers. 50pc of murdered women are killed by a partner or ex-partner as opposed to only 3pc for men. Men do not randomly kill the women closest to them, these women are targeted because they are perceived as male possessions.


Read the full article here

YOU on Netflix is a study of dating abuse

6/5/2019

 
Netflix's YOU inadvertently highlights a slew of different warning signs of dating abuse and violence. Young women aged 16-24 experience the highest likelihood of intimate partner violence. In just Series 1 alone of YOU  the following red flags and abusive tactics are demonstrated by the key character, Joe:
  • Stalking
  • Narcissistic tendencies
  • Digital abuse
  • Jealousy
  • Isolation
  • Moving the relationship quickly
YOU highlights one of the most unassumingly dangerous types of dating abuse - that of non-physical abuse. Too often we think of domestic violence as hitting, slapping, strangling or shoving. But non-physical abuseis one of the reasons why many survivors don’t recognise it, get deeply entangled with their abuser and then find it difficult to escape, especially when the abuser escalates the abuse from yelling to hitting.
Please note that YOU can be triggering.

Ring 000 if you or someone you know is in danger.
Ring 1800RESPECT for support.
​Click here for other support services.
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When homelessness becomes the better option

5/5/2019

 
More than 116,000 Australians are homeless on any given night. Domestic and Family Violence is the main reason people cite for being homeless.
We urgently need more support and resources and safe places for those fleeing extreme violence at home.
​Warning, this video is triggering.

​

SA to open DFV beds to perpetrators too

5/5/2019

 
The South Australian Government will open 40 new domestic and family violence crisis beds over the next 12 months including a small number of beds for perpetrators to use while removed from their home. Human Services Minister Michelle Lensink hopes the move will mean victims are able to stay in their communities and support networks. The trial will allow authorities to explore what interventions might work to change perpetrators' behaviour.


​Read the full story here.
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How to ask about abuse?

3/5/2019

 
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Always be suspicious of abuse if a friend or loved one shows up with unexplained injuries like bruises, bandages or broken bones. But abuse is not always physical. Verbal, emotional and psychological abuse can be just as damaging as physical injuries but they leave no overt marks. So what else can you look for?


​Read the full article here.

The Outer Sanctum crew discuss the threats of violence and mysogynist behaviour of AFL-connected David Rhys-Jones and Craig Liney towards women.

2/5/2019

 
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Rhys-Jones is a washed-up AFL player who coaches quite young female players and Liney is the leader of a Victorian women's footy club. Their behaviour towards women has been swept under the carpet by the AFL and their respective leagues. It also seems that the only people in the media calling these blokes out and questioning their roles are women.


Click here to listen to the podcast.

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