- The narcissist will always define the terms.
- You will live by a set of double standards.
- You will not be listened to.
- The narcissist will never resolve a conflict.
- The narcissist will rarely consider your feelings; and will only do so if it serves him/her some how.
- The narcissist will never apologise.
- What will matter most to him/her is how s/he appears to others.
- The narcissist will ruin all of your birthdays and holidays (probably because somehow s/he needs to make everything about him/her.)
- There will be little to no mutuality, collaboration or cooperation.
- Your expectations will be managed down to mere crumbs; to the point where you will be happy just because s/he isn’t giving you the silent treatment, yelling at you, or cheating on you.
- You will never win.
- Your value will be diminished to the point of nothingness in his/her eyes. In fact, mere strangers will hold more weight in his/er eyes than you will.
- The narcissist will tend to make you his/her scapegoat.
- The narcissist will dump his/her shame and rage on to you.
- Simple conversations will become crazy-making endeavours.
- You will find yourself walking on eggshells.
- You will lose yourself because you will be trained to focus only on his/her feelings and reactions; never mind yours.
- You will experience the silent treatment.
- You will experience cognitive dissonance, confabulation and gas lighting.
- You will find yourself telling a grown adult how to have normal interactions with others.
- Your relationship will revolve on a cycle: waiting – hoping – hurting – being angry – forgiving – forgetting – again.
- The narcissist will blame you for all of the problems in the relationship.
- You will blame yourself.
- S/He will use your weaknesses against you.
- You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the Narcissist acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
- The narcissist will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
- The narcissist will not do his/her fair share of household responsibilities.
- The narcissist will come and go as s/he pleases.
- When you try to hold him/her accountable s/he will fly into a rage.
- The narcissist will not answer questions directly.
- The narcissist will never ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.” S/He will never show concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something s/he cares about.)
- You will feel stuck and unable to leave him/her.
- You will miss him/her and wait for h/herim all the time.
- The narcissist will project his/her bad behaviours onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him/her – neither is accurate.
- When you finally break because of his /hercrazy making behaviours and the insanity of the relationship, s/he will call you are a lunatic, others will think you are a lunatic, and you, yourself, will believe that you are just as bad as him (realise, there is no moral equivalence between expressing frustration and intentional abuse.)
- No one else will see it (except maybe the kids.) This will cause you to question your reality.
- The entire experience will result in trauma for you because it is interpersonal violence.
- You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.
- If you go to couples counselling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you.
- You will pay a big price should you ever tell your loved one, “No.”
Adapted from here