40 Things To Expect From A Narcissist

1. The narcissist will always define the terms.
2. You will live by a set of double standards.
3. You will not be listened to.
4. The narcissist will never resolve a conflict.
5. The narcissist will rarely consider your feelings; and will only do so if it serves him/her some how.
6. The narcissist will never apologise.
7. What will matter most to him/her is how s/he appears to others.
8. The narcissist will ruin all of your birthdays and holidays (probably  because somehow s/he needs to make everything about him/her.)
9. There will be little to no mutuality, collaboration or cooperation.
10. Your expectations will be managed down to mere crumbs; to the point where you will be happy just because s/he isn’t giving you the silent treatment, yelling at you, or cheating on you.
11. You will never win.
12. Your value will be diminished to the point of nothingness in his/her eyes.  In fact, mere strangers will hold more weight in his/er eyes than you will.
13. The narcissist will tend to make you his/her scapegoat.
14. The narcissist will dump his/her shame and rage on to you.
15. Simple conversations will become crazy-making endeavours.
16. You will find yourself walking on eggshells.
17. You will lose yourself because you will be trained to focus only on his/her feelings and reactions; never mind yours.
18. You will experience the silent treatment.
19. You will experience cognitive dissonance, confabulation and gas lighting.
20. You will find yourself telling a grown adult how to have normal interactions with others.
21. Your relationship will revolve on a cycle:  waiting – hoping – hurting – being angry – forgiving – forgetting – again.
22. The narcissist will blame you for all of the problems in the relationship.
23. You will blame yourself.
24. S/He will use your weaknesses against you.
25. You will experience many dramatic exits, followed by a reappearance of the Narcissist acting as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
26. The narcissist will act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.
27. The narcissist will not do his/her fair share of household responsibilities.
28. The narcissist will come and go as s/he pleases.
29. When you try to hold him/her accountable s/he will fly into a rage.
30. The narcissist will not answer questions directly.
31. The narcissist will never ask you about your day and wish you to “have a good day.”  S/He will never show concern for things that you care about (unless it’s something s/he cares about.)
32. You will feel stuck and unable to leave him/her.
33. You will miss him/her and wait for h/herim all the time.
34. The narcissist will project his/her bad behaviours onto you and you will project your good intentions onto him/her – neither is accurate.
    
35. When you finally break because of his /hercrazy making behaviours and the insanity of the relationship, s/he will call you are a lunatic, others will think you are a lunatic, and you, yourself, will believe that you are just as bad as him (realise, there is no moral equivalence between expressing frustration and intentional abuse.)
    
36. No one else will see it (except maybe the kids.) This will cause you to question your reality.
    
37. The entire experience will result in trauma for you because it is interpersonal violence.
    
38. You will begin to feel crazy; then, over time, you will begin to feel numb.
    
39. If you go to couples counselling it will not work, and will most likely back fire on you. 
    
40. You will pay a big price should you ever tell your loved one, “No.”

​Adapted from here