Violence against women is women's issue.
Violence against women is also a 'men's issue' because:
Some women provoke the violence.
Most abused people try to do everything they can to please their partner and avoid further violent episodes. The responsibility for violence must rest solely with the abuser.
Violence only happens to certain type of women.
Research has repeatedly shown that violence crosses all boundaries and can happen to women from all social, economic, and cultural backgrounds and family situations.
Some women enjoy or are addicted to the violence.
The use of violence is a choice.
Those who use violence choose where and when they do the violence and how they use the violence.
Far from loving the violence, victims find that violence destroys the relationship, and many people in violent situations eventually leave for their own safety or for the safety of their children.
Violent people are mentally ill or have psychopathic personalities.
Clinical studies do not support this statement.
The vast majority of men who perpetrate violence against their family members do not suffering from mental illness and could not be described as psychopaths.
Most abusers appear to be respectable men who are very much in control in their public and business lives.
The violence is usually manifested only within their relationship in the privacy of their homes with their partner and children.
There is nothing we can do to stop domestic violence.
Rape and domestic violence are not inevitable.
Men are not 'just born that way'.
Violence against women is not the product of biology or genetics.
Research shows that gender-based violence is the product of learned behaviour, attitudes and social inequalities.
Just as violence-supportive attitudes can be learned, they can and must be unlearned.
Society must no longer excuse abuse.
Governments and communities can and must replace the social conditions that feed violence with social conditions that encourage respect and non-violence.
Stress & anger lead to violence.
Violent behavior is a choice.
Perpetrators use violence to control their victims.
Perpetrators are usually very much in control in their public and business lives.
Drug and alcohol abuse leads to domestic violence.
Although alcohol is involved in about 50% of cases, the same offenders also beat their partners when sober. (QLD Domestic Violence Task Force 1988).
Alcohol and drug abuse has been shown to be a risk factor that does not cause domestic violence but can contribute to greater frequency and severity of abuse.
If the woman didn't like it, she'd just leave.
There are many reasons why a woman may not leave an abusive relationship including fear for herself, her children and even pets.
Not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused.
The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave.
The Australian Institute of Criminology  released the following statistic:
More than 70% of all Domestic Violence murders occur after the victim has ended the relationship.
See also 'Why doesn't she just leave?'
All family members must change for the violence to stop.
Only the abusive person has the ability to stop the violence.
Violence is a behavioural choice for which the perpetrator must be held accountable.
Most abused women make numerous attempts to change their behaviour in the hope that this will stop the abuse.
This does not work. Changes in family members' behaviour will not cause the batterer to be non-violent.
Regret or remorse on the perpetrator’s part means s/he has changed.
Most perpetrators feel regret or remorse after abusing their partner however these feelings, apologies and promises to change, are part of the cycle and do not indicate change.
See also Cycle of Violence.
Family or Domestic Violence is only physical.
No, Family or Domestic Violence also includes psychological, emotional, verbal, social, sexual, spiritual and financial abuse which are just as destructive as physical abuse.
Women don't tell the truth about domestic violence.
Women experiencing domestic violence are more likely to deal with the issues themselves or talk to family and friends rather than seek outside support, due to barriers such as fear, isolation, lack of support and shame.
This is supported by findings in the report Against the Odds: How Women Survive Domestic Violence (Keys Young, 1998) which found that:
Men have a right to discipline their wives.
While our society derives from a patriarchal legal system which afforded men the right to physically chastise their wives and children, we do not live under such a system now.
Women and children are no longer considered the property of men and domestic violence is a crime in every state of Australia.